


Cocksucking Cowboys

by Sashataakheru



Category: Australian Comedy RPS, The Chaser RPS
Genre: M/M, alternate universe - strippers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-16
Updated: 2010-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-06 08:27:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashataakheru/pseuds/Sashataakheru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Andrew and Craig work as strippers and prostitutes at a seedy club down town.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cocksucking Cowboys

**Author's Note:**

> After a particularly smutty Good News Week ep, a friend asked for stripper!Craig/Paul. This was written while watching Sinchronicity and listening to 'Supermassive Black Hole' by Muse.
> 
> I also drew some arts of cowboy stripper Andrew. - ETA 27/3/16: Okay, so that artz doesn't work anymore, because I deleted that dA account and clearly forgot I linked this here. Will try to figure out a new hosting thingo for it, so you can still see the artz that went with it.

Craig took a peek out at the growing crowd of men getting drunker and louder as the night progresses. He looked for his regulars, spying the ones calling his name. He smirked. It looked like it’d be a good night. Out of the corner of his eye, he spied someone he recognised.

“Ooh, the little bastard. I didn't expect to see him here. He's so getting my attention tonight,” Craig murmured.

“Craig, darling, we're on. Stop admiring the boys and get out there,” Andrew said, coming up behind Craig and swatting his bare arse with his hat.

“Alright, alright, keep your pants on. You'll never guess who's out there either,” Craig said, eyes wide with glee.

“Oh? Who's caught your eye tonight?” Andrew said as he put his hat on.

“Take a look. Over in the corner. Recognise that midget and the guy beside him?” Craig said, pointing to the man he'd spotted.

“Oh, my, I wondered when he'd turn up here. You're going to tease him all night, aren't you?” Andrew said.

“Of course. Gotta have my fun, yes?” Craig said. “Come on, time for the show.”

Craig grabbed Andrew's hand as the familiar music started. The stage exploded in colour, light and sound as they walked on, peering out at the crowd from under their cowboy hats. Craig made a point of eyeballing the man he’d spotted moments before, giving him a half-smile and a wink.

There was much gyrating as Craig and Andrew moved forward. It was as much a performance as it was a striptease. They’d worked their routine to perfection, and the crowd enjoyed the stage rivalry between them as Craig tried to outdo Andrew and Andrew cracked a stockwhip at Craig’s feet to keep him on his toes. Craig was always grateful there was so much trust between them; he wouldn’t trust anyone else to use a whip like that near his feet. He might lose a toe or something.

Craig was always the one on his hands and knees being ridden by Andrew, who had taken to spanking his bare arse when he felt the need, until Craig bucked and slid Andrew off his back as he pulled the leather waistcoat off and threw it into the crowd behind him, eyeing Andrew with mischievous eyes and that insidious smirk.

Then it was Craig’s turn to crack the whip at Andrew’s feet, backing him up against one of the poles. Andrew always had the decency to look shy and coy when Craig whipped his torso, striping the leather around his stomach and attaching him to the pole. Then it was cockteasing time, Craig’s forte.

His arms above his head and bent behind the pole, Andrew watched Craig pacing around him, trailing his fingers around his waist. A bite to his neck and a gratuitous hand squeezing his dick sent Andrew’s desire skyrocketing. Craig prowled around behind him, hands reaching through to tease his chest. Then there was a trailing finger and a wink as Craig left him tied there, squirming against the pole.

It was Craig’s turn now, prowling the stage to rev up the crowd, teasing them with his leather chaps and his bare arse, all the while watching Andrew for his escape. For all intents and purposes, Craig was playing to the crowd, but in his mind, he was playing to one man only: Andrew. The hornier he made Andrew, the better the sex was once they went home after work.

Giving Andrew a wink, Craig slowly made his way over to the man he’d spotted, crawling again and licking his lips. He wanted him. Hopefully, he’d work him up enough to get him later on in the evening.

“How ya goin’ boys?” Craig purred as he leaned in towards him so he could hear him over the music.

Getting to his feet as he slid off-stage, knowing the loud cheering was for Andrew who’d taken to the stage again, Craig approached his prey, straddling his lap as he swung his hips invitingly. Resting his hands on his shoulders, Craig got to work. He was allowed pick of two clients a night, the rest were arranged for him. The man before him was his second, and Craig suspected he’d be well worth winning over.

Aware of Andrew cracking the whip, Craig lowered himself down onto the man’s lap, grinding slowly in time to the music, leaning in to lick his face. Craig was damn good at lap dances, and he proved that again as he worked his prey. The man soon wore Craig’s hat as Craig stepped back and flung the chaps off, turning to put his arse to good use. He smirked at the warm hands caressing his skin, hands that Craig knew instantly were those of experience. It was the only touching allowed, and it was strictly enforced.

Sitting down on him again, Craig began grinding his hips, wanting to make sure he got hard. He turned around again to look the man in the eyes. With a coy flutter of his eyelashes, Craig leant in and whispered in his ear, “You’re mine. Meet me afterwards and I’ll finish the job.”

The man groaned with need. Craig knew he had him. One long final kiss and Craig retreated, taking his hat with him as he backed onto the stage to find Andrew grab him and pull him into a deep kiss, grinding against him. The kiss caused a host of cheering. It was always the best part.

There were hands and tongues and teeth and furious making out, as if they were totally alone. It was this part where they finally got naked, writhing against each other as they kissed again, the finale to their act. Craig trailed his tongue down Andrew’s chest, flicking his tongue across his cock before standing again to finish. Hands snaked around Andrew’s chest possessively as he bit down on Andrew’s neck, a hand sliding down towards his cock in a half-attempt to cover it. Craig gave the crowd his best coy look through down-turned lashes, smirking at the crowd for encouraging his vanity.

Craig eyed his prize as he left the stage, knowing he’d be there soon enough. Andrew followed, pressing Craig against a wall once they were backstage and giving him a heated kiss. Craig knew he’d get a damn good fucking tonight.

“Wanna fuck you now,” Andrew growled into his neck.

“Too bad. We got work to do before we can play around. Pick anyone?” Craig said.

“Oh yeah. He’s gonna be good. He’s a novice round here. I’ll show him the ropes,” Andrew said.

Craig smirked. “I bet you will. Don’t wear him out. If he tips well, we’ll want him to come back, won’t we?”

“Of course. Got it sorted. Oh, looks like your boy was eager to get going. That must’ve been quite the lap dance you gave him,” Andrew said, seeing the man Craig had picked standing there waiting for him.

“Better go then. Save your best for me, love. I’ll be waiting,” Craig said.

With a final kiss, Craig left Andrew behind to meet his second pick for the evening. Craig didn’t care that he was still naked. He liked it when they came so quickly after his show. It proved to him that he’d done his job well. Craig brushed past him and grabbed his arm.

“You coming, love? I ain’t got all evening,” Craig said, looking back and fluttering his eyelashes invitingly.

The man didn’t speak, following Craig into the back rooms. Craig backed onto the bed and lay there, gesturing for the man to approach him.

“What’s your name, sugar?” Craig said. “You wanna close the door? This is a private session, you know.”

“Names aren’t important,” the man said as he shut the door. He discarded his clothes absentmindedly, eyes fixed on Craig.

Craig lay back and slowly stroked his dick. “Hurry up, I wanna fuck you badly.”

Soon the man was crawling onto the bed, crawling up his body. Craig could tell he’d done this before. There was a kiss before their bodies came into contact, the man lying on top of Craig. The contact did nothing for Craig’s arousal.

“Get your pretty fucking mouth around my dick,” the man said, sitting up to straddle Craig’s body.

Craig sat up and obliged, taking him all in eagerly. The man grabbed his hair tightly in one hand, keeping an eye on him as he worked. Just as he was about to come, the man stopped him, yanking his head back roughly. Craig smiled. He knew his type. This would be easy.

“So how do you want it?” Craig said.

“You fuck me hard, I pay you, we’re both happy,” the man said.

Craig didn’t bother replying, instead wrestling the man until he had him pinned beneath him. Reaching for lube and a rubber, Craig wasted little time on foreplay that wasn’t necessary. The man lay face down, his request, as Craig got to work.

He loved the ones that wanted it hard. It always felt more satisfying. Craig thrust into him, putting all his energy into it, as the man squirmed underneath him. It was mostly unceremonious, a quick, hard fuck, no more, no less. Craig ended up digging his fingers into his shoulders, waiting for the man to tell him he was pushing too hard.

By the time Craig had finished, jerking inside him as he rode out his orgasm, the man was panting hard, fingers clutching the bed sheets tightly. Craig didn’t linger inside him like he did with a few of his regulars. He rolled off and lay beside the man, looking into his tired but satisfied face.

“That all for now? Or are you still needing me?” Craig said.

“No, that’s fine. But go find your mate. I wanna watch you suck his dick,” the man said.

“That’ll cost you extra, you know,” Craig said.

“I’m well aware of that. Now go get him,” the man said.

Craig looked back at him as he slid off the bed and left the room to find Andrew. Wandering down the corridor of spare room for fucking clients in, he stopped outside one of them.

“Oi, Hansen!” Craig called as he knocked. “You in there?”

Andrew was inside, halfway through fucking his own pick for the evening. He was in no mood to be interrupted. “Busy, Reuy. Come back later!” he called as he thrust again, watching the emotions in his client’s face.

“You’re needed. Extras. I’ll split it 50/50,” Craig called, still trying to entice him.

Andrew paused. “I’ll come back and give you a double. This won’t take long. Wait here. I’ll be back. What did you say your name was again?”

“Cam. And I can wait. The thought of what you and he are doing together will be quite enough to get me through the wait,” he said.

“Good boy,” Andrew said.

Andrew pulled away and left him there as he went out to meet Craig. “What does he want?” Andrew said.

“Wants to watch me suck you off. Think you can handle that?” Craig said.

“Definitely. Lead the way.”

Craig led Andrew back to the room he’d left his client in and got to work. Andrew lay on the bed as Craig knelt between his legs, sucking furiously and sweetly, making sure to put on a good show.

The man soon had his own ideas as he straddled Andrew’s chest and demanded a blowjob of his own. Craig was left to pleasure himself, but he didn’t mind. He brought Andrew to orgasm the way he knew how, loving the taste of him on his lips. The man seemed pleased as well.

Andrew lay there exhausted as the man got to his feet. Craig sat on the bed, watching him fish out his wallet. They all paid in cash. The man thrust a fistful of notes into Craig’s hands before dressing. Craig counted the money and gave Andrew his share.

“Good man. Will we be seeing you again some time?” Craig said.

“Maybe. You never know your luck. Goodnight,” the man said.

With a dip of his head, the man left them alone. Craig lay back, staring at the ceiling.

“God, I love this job,” Craig said. “You can go back to your client now if you want.”

“Nah, he can wait. He liked the idea of imagining what we were up to,” Andrew said.

“Well, we’d better give him something to imagine then, hadn’t we?” Craig said as he propped himself up.

Andrew just smiled and pulled Craig into a kiss. “You are a very bad influence. I’ll have to punish you later for this,” he said.

Craig had no reply. He didn’t need one when Andrew pinned him to the bed and began attacking him as if they were at home and free to sex each other as they pleased. Little moments like these that they were able to steal were worth more than the money they made each evening. They made life worth living when life seemed like it couldn’t get any worse.


End file.
